Hello my dear readers, it has been a while since I posted something. The past few weeks have been so crazy you can’t imagine. Between all the hectic of the past Caribbean fashion show in Amsterdam and my work, I really needed a break. So, I decided to go solo to Paris, since I always wanted to explore Paris on my own. Those who follow me on Instagram, have already seen the photos I posted while being in Paris. My time in Paris was so nice until the very end.

While enjoying my last hour in Paris on Wednesday, August 19, I got a phone call from my mother with the tragic news that my father passed away. WHAT?!!! The first thought going through my mind was: “I don’t have a father anymore”. Then I felt so sad for him not being part of this beautiful world anymore. So many things to do, wonderful places to see, so many things to explore. There I was, standing all alone in the middle of the streets of Paris. SHOCKED!! After my mom’s phone call I called my sister, who lives abroad, since my mom couldn’t reach her. She was also shocked. This was the last thing we both expected. Losing our father so soon. Right before the phone call I was heading to a French bakery to have one last croissant. My appetite was gone. Suddenly I was not having a good time and the only thing I wanted to do was go home.

Funny thing is that I went to Paris by bus and actually missed my bus the night before. Technically, I should’ve been home while receiving this terrible news. But there I was, in Paris trying to let it all sink in. Even though my appetite was gone, I still took some pictures of the Bakery I never got to eat at. At that moment I felt nothing other than sadness and I crossed the street to sit on a bench in front of a McDonald’s and I just sat there for a minute while tears were rolling on my cheeks. First thing I needed to do now was call my work to give them the news. But the thing was that just 13 minutes before my mom’s phone call, I already called work to tell them that I missed my connection back to Amsterdam and that if I didn’t get on the next bus, which was leaving that afternoon, I might not be able to make it to work the next day. So you can imagine what they would think if I call again to now tell them that my father just died. After a few calls I couldn’t reach them, so I went to the bus station. Didn’t care so much about getting on the bus so I could make it to work the next day, as I cared about NEEDING to BE on that bus because I wanted to go HOME! I wanted to get out of Paris. Can you imagine? I WANTED TO GET OUT OF PARIS! Because I shouldn’t have been there anymore in the first place.

With the will of God, I could get on that afternoon bus, which would have me back in Amsterdam just after 22:00 PM. After a few minutes in the bus, I called my work again and reached my planner. Let me tell you that phone conversation was not pretty! But that doesn’t matter. All that matters was that I was going to Paramaribo for my father’s funeral and nothing and nobody was going to stop me. The first hours of the bus ride I just sit there and cried, couldn’t believe that this really happened. My father is gone! Wow! What started as a fun first solo trip ever was now ending terribly. As long as I live, I will never forget the place and spot where I was when I heard the news of my father’s passing. Because exactly one minute before that phone call, I took a picture from where I stood and right after that shot my phone rang. If you only knew what that picture means to me now.

Once I arrived home, it was all about planning my trip to Paramaribo, Suriname. A few days later, I found myself sitting on an airplane on my way to Suriname for my father’s funeral. From Paris to Paramaribo… Life!!